HOW DO I TELL HER I WAS THAT MAN THAT ONCE RAPED HER ?

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‘‘ several nights i tried to make love to her she resisted, on that particular day i tried being gentle with her, she  allows me kiss her and fondle her. i felt her body relaxing little by little, when i thought i was making progress, i lifted her up and headed for the bedroom.

i gently lay her on the bed and started exploring her body, kissing her lips, her face down to her neck and in between her well shaped breast. i gave the flatness of her stomach a feather touch of a kiss i sensed her wiggled in pleasure which encouraged me to go further. after spending much time getting her ready for that night, i felt the wetness of her sweetness as i gently undress her.

All my fantasy came to an abrumpt end when she immediatly tensed and her wetness dried up as i tried to insert my penis inside her. she started fighting me, throwing her legs and fists on me, shaking her head vigorusly side by side as if she was fighting an invincible force. when i couldnt take it any more ( we had been married for two weeks and three days without consumating our union. she has always resisted me and fought me every time i tried to make love to her)  i slaped her face so hard and she started crying. i was physically shaking with rage and was ready to call her parents and even our church pastor that night when she told me the truth behind her attitude.

‘‘am so sorry mike, i cant help what i happening to me” she said amist tears.
‘‘ what do you mean you cant help it, for how long do we continue like this? you told me you dont want to have sex before marriage and i respected that but now why do you deny me what is rightfully mine? why do you punish me like this ?”  she was crying uncontrollably now but i was blinded with my anger that i didnt know when i reach to her again and was shaking her vigorusly out of anger.
‘‘ i was raped when i was 8 !” she screamed
‘‘ what!” i asked in shock . she nodded in agreement cos she couldnt say any other thing with her state of mind. all of a sudden i saw the pain of yester years rest fresh on her. i suddenly saw the sadness and hatred she was trying to hide for so long. i placed my arm around her and allowed her lean her head on my shoulder as i stroke her hair. in as much as i would have love to know how it happened, i didnt wast to pressurize her into telling me unless she is ready for it.

‘‘i have kept this experience to my self for so long out of fear and when i grew into a matured woman, i couldnt tell any body because i felt no one will believe me.” she started
‘‘tell me everything, i am here to share the burden with you” i encouraged her.
‘‘ it was on a friday and i was coming back from school. i was in primary 4. though i was eight but i was plump and was a little bit curvier than my mate. ( her mum is also plump and curvy so she might have gotten that from her mum) as i was walking back from school which was a little bit far from our house, my friends has all diverted to their various routes and i was walking alone on a track road that led to our house when two young boys that seem to be  16& 17 years of age ( calculating now with her imaginations) walked out of the bush and was walking towards me. one of them suddenly lifted me off the road and made towards the bush while the other one walked behind. i kicked and hit him with all my strengh but he was stronger than i was ” she wiped her nose with the back of her hand and continued ‘‘ he roughly put me down and the other boy helped him held my leg as he pined me down with his weight.” she was crying afresh now and tear were running down freely on her cheeks and her voice was breaking but she continued.‘‘ i begged him with all that was in me but he refused, when he felt i was resisting him, he slapped me and went on to force himself on me. him and his friend took turn in raping me on that lonely road . when they were through, the one that first raped me brought out out a mini knife and warned me not to tell anybody or he will trace me and kill me.”

as she was telling her story, my past life came flashing before me. i remembered the innocent little girl Jude and i raped many years ago. i was only 17 and was fresh in the university, i was a young boy full of bad behaviour and was enjoying it. at my young age i had already started smoking and sleeping with women. i remembered we were in that bush smoking as usual during one of our holidays when we spoted her coming. i looked at her and recorgnition hit me on the face, all of a sudden it was as if i was seeing the little girl struggling under my hold in that bush. how could i have dated her for 9 months without even noticing the resemblance.

by the time she finished her story, i was all tears. she though i was crying because of her but i was crying because of what i did. i removed my hand from her shoulder, stood up and gradually walked away towards the sitting room. friends, after many years of immoral life, i became a man and became reasonable. i regreated all that i did out of ignorant and made amends. i couldnt forgive myself because of this particular incident and i went back to Jude asking him to help me locate the girl we raped but all our efforts didnt give us any clue to where and how to find her.

now when i thought my past is behind me and i could go on with my life, nemesis has caught up with me, i am living in the same roof with the little girl i raped years ago. what do i do?

me: friends, i was as dumbfounded as you are when i heard this story, ( i was the one that dramatised it so to make it captivating) what is your stake on this? wha advice will you give. if you are in his shoes, what would you do?.  ( make your comments using the comment box after this story so the person involved can easily see your comment.

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5 thoughts on “HOW DO I TELL HER I WAS THAT MAN THAT ONCE RAPED HER ?

  1. This captivating..for me,I wil nt like to die with the guilt….I wil go ahead to tel the truth…letting her knw dat am the one behind the scene of her rape….its upto her to either forgive me or nt.

  2. Now she is ur wife. U hv no any other option dan to tell her wht u did in past. But b4 dat u hv pray & seek 4 God’s direction. I believe with God all tins are possible. Make her to understand who u are now,dat u are now a changed person

  3. Open up and her every single truth, bt b4
    u do dat go tel ur friend dat ur wife is d gal u guys raped in d past and hear wat he has to say. GOODLUCK!

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