i have feelings too

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‘‘am a man, a man that has endured pain and heartbreak. in case you are wondering, yes ! men have feelings too.

i married her because i loved her ( still do) she was fresh from high school and had no hope of going to college. i met her in a supermarket were she worked as an attendant and picked interest in her. as the day goes by i was more deeply in love with her and with the look of things i concluded she loved me.

she agreed to marry me and i was over the moon. two years after our marriage, we were blessed with a son and after another year i decided it was time to send her back to college. i wanted her to have a life outside being my wife and i sacrificed much to achieve that( including some domestics in the evenings when the paid maid is gone)

five years later she was done and got an appointment in one of the leading  private firms around with my help and approval. that was where our issues started and it is threatening to tear us apart. she gradually fall out of love with me and became obsessed with another. nothing matters anymore to her except the happiness of her new found love.

at first i though it was a man( it it was, i would have known how to battle it out with him) but i realised my contender in this game of love wasn’t a man but her job .i though i could ignore it because of love and with time she could come around but no , she was becoming more obsessed every day.

she was working late with the boss today, or travelling to represent the boss tomorrow. she was consumed with her quest for getting promoted and a raise that i meant nothing to her any more. still i endured, i gave excuses for her and held on to the believe that once she got her promotion, things will return to normal for us.

i was only dreaming. for so it was that once she got a promotion she seeks for another, she comes home almost when our son and i had retired to bed ( five year after she got the job we are more apart that we were before) and lovemaking became something i have to sacrifice also in other to be a good husband who understands that his wife must be tired after a rough day. thus our relationship became strenuous.

yet i endured, i suffered but i held on for love and for our son. i talked to her and she said i wouldn’t understand cos i am only but a business man who doesn’t know what it takes to keep a job in a competitive society.

they say men don’t cry but i cry for the love i lost , i shed tears cos i can not find the woman i once called wife anymore, what i have living under my roof is stranger married to her job and her laptop. a shadow that appears to me and fades away when i want to get hold of it.

it it so true , life is unfair and love stings like a bee, it draws you to itself and stings you when you want to take the honey. i love her still, i really love. but this love hurts like hell and i want to be free from it.

me: what is your though on this, what best advice can you give a broken man. let us hear you.

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2 thoughts on “i have feelings too

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