THREE BAD HABITS YOU MUST DROP BEFORE YOU LOOSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

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You must realise that there’s a right way to love… the right way to keep your relationship on.
However, there are also some things that we do which may poison whatever love we have built.
If you are in a relationship with someone you’ll like to have forever, then you ought to continue reading and see if you have any of these 3 habits that can kill your romance:

You Can’t Keep Your Eyes Off Other Women/Men: It is true that your eyes will stray to other women now and then, but it is bad if you make it every time. Talking about features of other women/men you love, especially those lacking in your partner is like underling their deficiencies.

You Always Talk About Yourself And Your Big Dreams: Women like guys with great ambitions, especially if they see you have practical plans towards seeing them through. Same thing for men. But everyone hates to hear about pipe dreams. Don’t always talk about some mighty vision or target if you have have no means to see it through. Stop it.

You Are Threading The Path Of Chauvinism: Okay, so you think women are inferior to women, that is bad enough. To now rub it into the face of your partner is unfair. Women especially hate it when they’re given demeaning nicknames or their opinions are disregarded without good reason. Guys also do not find it funny when a woman turns radical-feminist. It’s not good.

So if you’re in one of the above categories… it’s time to grown up and be the good lover.

THERE ARE MANY OTHER BAD HABITS, SO ADD YOUR LET US LEARN FROM ONE ANOTHER

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HOW I GOT MY GROOVE BACK.

Not for singles.

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He closed his eyes as he scrubbed, humming the song. He must have lost himself in the words of the tune, because the next thing he felt were arms wrapped around his soapy body. He couldn’t open his eyes because of the soap on his face but he felt with his hands. The body that owned the arms was familiar.

It was me, my sexy revealing night dress was still on.
that day i decided to be naughty, to take the bull by the horns. after two full weeks of giving each other the silent treatment( because he insisted his decision over my traveling with the kids for vacation was final and i insisted i must have my way) i decided not to yield to his sexual advances so as to make him crave for it so much that he will agree to anything. but how wrong i was, my husband was ready to play the game with me (two can play the game). i waited for him to place the demand but he didn’t, tried seducing him secretly but he wasn’t noticing (or pretended not to notice) i was actually the one seriously in need of his touch.

that day i decided to get my groove with him back. i reached out and turned on the shower to let him wash his face. When he could see, he stood still looking at me for a while. i walked closer to him,  drew him into a tight embrace, then started working on his face. i kissed every part of his face, when i got to his lips, i allowed the kiss to linger, playing with his lips at first then pushed my tongue inside his mouth. i could sense the heat and the hardness in between his legs and that encouraged me to continue teasing and daring him to want more while i moved my hand to grab his balls. i left the lips and made my way towards the ear and whispered to him
‘‘ take me , here and now”
“Crazy, that’s what you are,” he whispered as he pulled my dress over her head.

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i had nothing under the dress.
He felt my ample breasts bulge against his hairy chest and waves of pleasure washed over his body. He shuddered. ‘‘Only  you could make me feel this way” he whispered as he took up from where i stopped . He ran his hands gently down my back to the parting of my small buttocks and i moaned with pleasure. Deftly, he squeezed my buttocks with his right hand while his left hand pinched my erect nipples just the way i liked it. i closed her eyes and another hoarse moan escaped my throat.
“I dreamt of this in my sleeps. I missed you all through those nights,” i moaned into his ear. “I waited and waited. And I cried too.”
“I love you, baby and I missed you too,” he whispered as he slipped inside me and gave it to me with all the love and passion  in him.

Give it a shot and get the sex groove back on…you’ll be glad you did. have a healthy sexual relationship in your marriage

THESE ARE THE REASONS WHY YOU MAY NEVER HAVE A NICE RELATIONSHIP

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Loneliness takes the shine off the best of successes, which is why very successful people often live very sad and lonely lives.
In the public eye, they are living ‘the good life’ but in reality, they are loveless, sad and lonely. Some make do with paid romance, prostitutes and one-night-stands… but the emptiness remains.
if you are in that category, then you most certainly have to correct 4 things in your life:

Perfectionist? You’re looking for the perfect partner. While it is agreed that some people are totally obnoxious and hard to tolerate, you must realise that no one is perfect. You may need to stop skipping over from one woman/man to the other because of one flaw or the other. So try to stay with one person for a while and work it out.

Commitment Freak?  You want immediate commitment from your man/woman (and before sex or without spending money!). See, no one will throw his/her heart to you. You must earn commitment. If as a man you want to arm-twist commitment from a woman, I pity you. It takes patience (and some spending). For the women, you must realise that most modern men will never commit before sex. To make a man commit to you without sex, you must be ready to be VERY patient. No hurry!

Loner?  You don’t want to mix with people. Truth is, no matter how beautiful or handsome you are, no one will come into your bedroom to give you love. You must go out and mix with the kind of people you think you can date.

Workaholic? You think life is only about working and working.  If you only from home to office and back home, you’re gonna remain alone forever. Even if you meet someone, the fact that you don’t spend time with them will deny you of their love and you’ll soon be alone again.
Its time to make amends and get moving again!

What are your thoughts ? add yours….

why does it hurt so bad ?

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‘‘ each day i watch you make the choices you make,
each day i cry for you.
each day i see you walk into the arms of those that care less about you,
yet you fake those smiles.

i kept wondering what your heart is thinking
i wonder why you are too blind to see
that to them you mean nothing but a plaything
which they can dispose of any time they want to move on to another.

the other day you came to me as a friend
( that has always been what i mean to you)
so excited you are, telling me you have finally seen the one
who will make your dream come true

i have always been the one cleaning your mess
i have always been the one shoulder that hold you
i have always bring you back to life and nurse you back to health
i have always been the one person to talk to
when they do it to you again

you have failed to see me beyond a friend
to look deep into my heart
to see the reason why i always want to clean you up
when you are messed beyond imagination

what do you want in a man? i silently asked myself
that you can not see that i can give you
what can they offer you? i wondered
that you are not worth more of

i have always trailed behind you
like a shadow waiting to be called to life
patiently offering you my ready hands
but you pick it to drop it at the next train station

awake awake oh my fair woman
let the scale fall of your eyes
i may not give you the whole world
but true love i offer you.

it hurts, yes it does
to wait for love when it seems far away
it hurt, yes it does
yet i await for your return    

IGNITE THE FIRE IN YOUR SEX ROOM

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Sex tends to slow down after a few years of marriage. And if the decline is not checked on time, it could actually fizzle out without the couple knowing what happened in the first place. But there are couples whose sex life is still very active and fun even after being married for 20 years.
In such a scenario, the couple must have found a way to bring back the sex they used to have when they were younger.
If you have been married for sometime and now find that your sex life is going on the decline, there are things you need to do to bring back that spark in your marriage.
Try these tips from our in-house sexpert.

Recharge your passion
Everything on earth eventually demagnetizes when left in proximity to something of the opposite charge. Magnets do, and men and women do too. Some people fall out of lust in seven days, never mind seven years or seventeen years.
Relaxing in our marriages and freeing ourselves from the pressure of trying to impress our partners has a predictable outcome: our partners are, in fact, not impressed. The magnetic spell we once cast on them begins to lift.
So you need to sit back and recharge the passion you had for each other when you were dating or when you were newly married. Do not think that because you are now married, sex is no more important in your marriage. In fact, sex is very important and should be given its pride of place.

Cozy is comfortable, but not sexy
It is a known fact that when men and women become real to each other, they cease to be princes and princesses, gods and goddesses, who inspire romantic fantasies or amorous worship.
Since couples lucky enough to be emotionally genuine with each other share so many real moments, they need to pay special attention to creating magical ones because great sex requires magic.
You can still have that kind of wild, abandoned sex you used to have when you were dating and younger. You can still recapture that fantastic sex life you had back in the days, but only once you admit that reigniting romance takes creativity and a commitment of time and energy.

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Explore each other’s fantasies.
The walls separating husbands and wives romantically do not dissolve spontaneously. They have to be dismantled piece by piece. As a woman, you can start by inviting your husband to slowly reveal aspects of his sexuality.
Learn what his sexual fantasies are and try to fulfil them if you can. As a man, there are basic things your woman would be wanting to do but as the faithful, devoted wife, she may not be able to tell you so that you would not think she has been playing the field and now knows some naughty things.
Talk about it with her and try as much as possible to try them out. For most women, their greatest fantasy is a man going down on them. Do you ever do that to your wife? She will surely treat you like a king if you do.

Intimacy doesn’t equal sex
When a man and a woman reveal themselves to each other, it makes each person feel more vulnerable. And, particularly for men, it’s hard to have amazing sex while feeling emotionally exposed.
Our earliest experiences with being close come from our relationships with parents. And those relationships aren’t (in any normal scenario) linked with sexual passion. That’s why some husbands and wives are open about what pleases them sexually only when they have affairs. They feel as if they have to be free of “family” to be free with their amorous impulses.

Having kids definitely doesn’t lead to better sex
Children in the home define husbands and wives as parents first and foremost, not lovers. That further sets the psychological cement that reminds us we are in a family home, not a love nest.
You should daddy and mummy time where no child interferes with your routine. During the weekends, make your bedroom a no go area for the kids, while you lock yourselves up and make love over and over, like you used to do.

Assume you don’t know everything about each other sexually
A husband and wife can be married for many years without ever telling each other what they find most exciting in bed. This is partly because many people remain painfully embarrassed about their sexual needs.
But it’s also because too much is at stake — namely, the emotional bond between husbands and wives — to gamble it on fulfilling a need that might be seen as odd, selfish, or simply beyond the comfort level of their partners for life.
And after years pass, it often becomes more and more difficult to reveal a “hidden” desire, because it feels like introducing something very foreign into the relationship or admitting that you’ve been fibbing about your sexual desires all that time.

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To make sex less intimidating, turn it into a game
Ask your partner to tell you three of his fantasies, and you get to choose one to act out. Then it’s his turn, you tell him three of yours, and he selects one. If he wants to pick two from your list, and you take him up on that offer, he also gets one of the two remaining fantasies on his list.
Bargaining builds romantic tension. Being playful will be a welcome reminder of how energized the two of you once were and could be again.

Give real-life routine a rest
Monotony (not to be confused with monogamy) is the enemy of passion. In order to see your mate as the prince, and for him to see you as the princess, it helps to set the stage for an out of this world sex routine.
Learn some new sex technique, styles and be willing to try it out with your spouse. Feel free to suggest a change of tactics and sex styles.

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We know that a lot of marriages are experiencing turbulence and those who do not know how to handle their differences, end up with a divorce.
Know that every couple will go through a rough patch at some point in their relationship. No matter who you are or where you are from, living with a person and interacting with them regularly always results in some degree of friction, but a good marriage is one that stands the test of time, despite these normal struggles and strains.
Nobody wants to quit an otherwise healthy relationship at the first sign of trouble, but constant hostility and conflict can push even the most committed couple apart if no changes are made.
So with this in view, we have come up with some helpful tips on how you can salvage your troubled marriage.

Don’t Let Minor Issues Become Major Problems
Poor communication is the number one reason for a breakdown in a marriage. If you ever feel slighted or upset by something that your spouse has said, then always ensure that you are diplomatic when bringing it up. Dealing with a problem by politely pointing out when something small has upset you is far better than waiting for things to escalate. Small irritations can suddenly become large ones when they are not handled with care.

Show Respect
Respect, they say, is reciprocal, so both partners must try all means to respect one another. Always do your best to be polite and respectful to your partner. There is a huge difference between an accidental slight and a malevolent one. Never speak ill of your spouse to others. Those words have a habit of making their way back to your spouse and are extremely hurtful. Your partner needs to know that he or she is appreciated, and remember, if you know that what you are about to say isn’t very nice, it’s better not to say it at all.

Forgive
Forgiveness is one of the basic ingredient of a happy marriage. You should always be ready and willing to forgive your partner anytime he or she offends you because holding a grudge never does a relationship any good. People tend to remember the negative things much easier than the positive ones, and this can color the next argument. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and moving on from them is a healthy step in the right direction.

Support Each Other
If your partner really enjoys something, perhaps a hobby or sport, even if you have little personal interest, you should make an effort to support one another. Letting your partner know his or her interests matter to you.

Sleep on It
The initial confrontation is always the most bitter. When you are irate and angry and feel as though you may say something spiteful, always try to hold your tongue and remember that you will rarely feel as angry in a few hours time. If you really have to work to hold your tongue, then consider a night on the couch. You might not sleep as well, but chances are you will both feel like apologizing after you have slept on it.

Make Plans
It can be somewhat linked to respect, but making plans and decisions about things in your life together really lets your spouse know that you value his or her opinion. Waiting to see what the other contributes when you are working out the family finances or disciplining the kids, lets your other half know that you care about what he or she thinks.

Make Time
It is commonly an issue for couples with children, but those with hectic schedules or busy careers can also struggle with this issue. Be sure to put real effort into making time for each other. You don’t need to make an excuse. Try not to make excuses, not even to yourself. When you really break it down, work is rarely so important that you can’t make some time for one another.

Make Love
It sounds obvious, but just like other time-related aspects, sex can be something that does not get the attention devoted to it that is required. Sex is a perfectly healthy and normal human need, and if it stops happening, it can be the death of your marriage. If you really find you have little interest in sex, then consider seeking professional counseling to get to the bottom of things. Consider the following points:

Never leave your spouse guessing about why you aren’t interested in making love. The problem can become far worse inside his or her head than it actually is.
If you are concerned, then it never hurts to ask. Better to come right out and get to the heart of the issue than worry yourself sick over what the problem might be.
Try and think back to a time when your sex life was excellent, and ask yourself what it is that changed things. You can usually arrive at a root cause by figuring out when things turned sour.
If you take the time to really sit down and think long and hard about it, what makes a marriage work isn’t difficult to figure out. Ask yourself how it is that you would like to be treated yourself.
A marriage is like any other human relationship, where kindness, honesty, warmth, love, and compassion are generally reciprocated and make you both feel good. Negative traits, such as spite, selfishness, greed, and coldness, can leave you both feeling unloved and unimportant.
Try and remember the reason that you got married in the first place, and remember that deep down, you are both still the same people that fell in love and made the decision to get married and commit to each other for the long term.
                                                                            from pulse.

HOW DO I TELL HER I WAS THAT MAN THAT ONCE RAPED HER ?

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‘‘ several nights i tried to make love to her she resisted, on that particular day i tried being gentle with her, she  allows me kiss her and fondle her. i felt her body relaxing little by little, when i thought i was making progress, i lifted her up and headed for the bedroom.

i gently lay her on the bed and started exploring her body, kissing her lips, her face down to her neck and in between her well shaped breast. i gave the flatness of her stomach a feather touch of a kiss i sensed her wiggled in pleasure which encouraged me to go further. after spending much time getting her ready for that night, i felt the wetness of her sweetness as i gently undress her.

All my fantasy came to an abrumpt end when she immediatly tensed and her wetness dried up as i tried to insert my penis inside her. she started fighting me, throwing her legs and fists on me, shaking her head vigorusly side by side as if she was fighting an invincible force. when i couldnt take it any more ( we had been married for two weeks and three days without consumating our union. she has always resisted me and fought me every time i tried to make love to her)  i slaped her face so hard and she started crying. i was physically shaking with rage and was ready to call her parents and even our church pastor that night when she told me the truth behind her attitude.

‘‘am so sorry mike, i cant help what i happening to me” she said amist tears.
‘‘ what do you mean you cant help it, for how long do we continue like this? you told me you dont want to have sex before marriage and i respected that but now why do you deny me what is rightfully mine? why do you punish me like this ?”  she was crying uncontrollably now but i was blinded with my anger that i didnt know when i reach to her again and was shaking her vigorusly out of anger.
‘‘ i was raped when i was 8 !” she screamed
‘‘ what!” i asked in shock . she nodded in agreement cos she couldnt say any other thing with her state of mind. all of a sudden i saw the pain of yester years rest fresh on her. i suddenly saw the sadness and hatred she was trying to hide for so long. i placed my arm around her and allowed her lean her head on my shoulder as i stroke her hair. in as much as i would have love to know how it happened, i didnt wast to pressurize her into telling me unless she is ready for it.

‘‘i have kept this experience to my self for so long out of fear and when i grew into a matured woman, i couldnt tell any body because i felt no one will believe me.” she started
‘‘tell me everything, i am here to share the burden with you” i encouraged her.
‘‘ it was on a friday and i was coming back from school. i was in primary 4. though i was eight but i was plump and was a little bit curvier than my mate. ( her mum is also plump and curvy so she might have gotten that from her mum) as i was walking back from school which was a little bit far from our house, my friends has all diverted to their various routes and i was walking alone on a track road that led to our house when two young boys that seem to be  16& 17 years of age ( calculating now with her imaginations) walked out of the bush and was walking towards me. one of them suddenly lifted me off the road and made towards the bush while the other one walked behind. i kicked and hit him with all my strengh but he was stronger than i was ” she wiped her nose with the back of her hand and continued ‘‘ he roughly put me down and the other boy helped him held my leg as he pined me down with his weight.” she was crying afresh now and tear were running down freely on her cheeks and her voice was breaking but she continued.‘‘ i begged him with all that was in me but he refused, when he felt i was resisting him, he slapped me and went on to force himself on me. him and his friend took turn in raping me on that lonely road . when they were through, the one that first raped me brought out out a mini knife and warned me not to tell anybody or he will trace me and kill me.”

as she was telling her story, my past life came flashing before me. i remembered the innocent little girl Jude and i raped many years ago. i was only 17 and was fresh in the university, i was a young boy full of bad behaviour and was enjoying it. at my young age i had already started smoking and sleeping with women. i remembered we were in that bush smoking as usual during one of our holidays when we spoted her coming. i looked at her and recorgnition hit me on the face, all of a sudden it was as if i was seeing the little girl struggling under my hold in that bush. how could i have dated her for 9 months without even noticing the resemblance.

by the time she finished her story, i was all tears. she though i was crying because of her but i was crying because of what i did. i removed my hand from her shoulder, stood up and gradually walked away towards the sitting room. friends, after many years of immoral life, i became a man and became reasonable. i regreated all that i did out of ignorant and made amends. i couldnt forgive myself because of this particular incident and i went back to Jude asking him to help me locate the girl we raped but all our efforts didnt give us any clue to where and how to find her.

now when i thought my past is behind me and i could go on with my life, nemesis has caught up with me, i am living in the same roof with the little girl i raped years ago. what do i do?

me: friends, i was as dumbfounded as you are when i heard this story, ( i was the one that dramatised it so to make it captivating) what is your stake on this? wha advice will you give. if you are in his shoes, what would you do?.  ( make your comments using the comment box after this story so the person involved can easily see your comment.

‘‘HELP!!! MY ROOF IS ABOUT TO COME DOWN !”

is there any cure for a nagging wife ? trust me if there is, millions of men out there will stop at nothing to get one and whoever has such cure must be very rich by now.

now my next story was actually coined from a story shared by a very good friend of mine, Evangelist success. i gave it a little touch here and there and here it goes:

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‘‘ i always hear my friend and colleague Barry, say he is rushing home to meet his wife and kids at home and i wonder, what could make a man that has the alternative of hanging out with friends at the club after the stress of work , always want to rush home to a woman, a wife!!

my name is bode and am in dare need of helping. my wife is about to nag me to death and i don’t know what to do. before you ask the question, the answer is yes! i saw the trace of her domineering and know it all attitude before we got married but i felt if i could be a good husband she in turn will drop those attitudes but how wrong i was, guys, an in hell.

i cant really figure out how she turned out worse but i know she wasn’t this bad. i kept covering up for her attitude and was doing everything to make her happy. i give her every answer she needs concerning my way about, call her from the office when i will be working over time, introduces my friends and family to her, minimize the number of relatives that visits my home yet she keep bringing out this venom as months turn to years.

unfortunately, we have not been blessed with our own kids. at first i thought it was frustration that is making her loose her tongue and lashes out on every body on little provocation and i tried not to remind her of our childlessness, i stopped my siblings from coming to my place so they will not remind her of our state.

but all my efforts are not paying off. she blames me for every thing that happens to her, i am to be blamed when her boss at work queries her, when she forgets anything at home, when her friends makes her angry when her food got burnt when the appliances in the house has fault and so on. she quarrels with everything even with her kitchen utensils.

my friends avoid coming to my house like leprosy and i keep praying that days will be prolonged so i wouldn’t go home after work in the evenings. seriously guys, my house is really about to come down because my wife is never tired of shouting at me or every other person. i spend my evenings visiting one friend or another after work so i wouldn’t go home on time for her nags.

guys, i need help before i loose it. help a brother in need”

ME: now let me ask this question again, is there any cure for a nagging woman. if there is please help my friend Bode.