We know that a lot of marriages are experiencing turbulence and those who do not know how to handle their differences, end up with a divorce.
Know that every couple will go through a rough patch at some point in their relationship. No matter who you are or where you are from, living with a person and interacting with them regularly always results in some degree of friction, but a good marriage is one that stands the test of time, despite these normal struggles and strains.
Nobody wants to quit an otherwise healthy relationship at the first sign of trouble, but constant hostility and conflict can push even the most committed couple apart if no changes are made.
So with this in view, we have come up with some helpful tips on how you can salvage your troubled marriage.
Don’t Let Minor Issues Become Major Problems
Poor communication is the number one reason for a breakdown in a marriage. If you ever feel slighted or upset by something that your spouse has said, then always ensure that you are diplomatic when bringing it up. Dealing with a problem by politely pointing out when something small has upset you is far better than waiting for things to escalate. Small irritations can suddenly become large ones when they are not handled with care.
Respect, they say, is reciprocal, so both partners must try all means to respect one another. Always do your best to be polite and respectful to your partner. There is a huge difference between an accidental slight and a malevolent one. Never speak ill of your spouse to others. Those words have a habit of making their way back to your spouse and are extremely hurtful. Your partner needs to know that he or she is appreciated, and remember, if you know that what you are about to say isn’t very nice, it’s better not to say it at all.
Forgiveness is one of the basic ingredient of a happy marriage. You should always be ready and willing to forgive your partner anytime he or she offends you because holding a grudge never does a relationship any good. People tend to remember the negative things much easier than the positive ones, and this can color the next argument. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and moving on from them is a healthy step in the right direction.
Support Each Other
If your partner really enjoys something, perhaps a hobby or sport, even if you have little personal interest, you should make an effort to support one another. Letting your partner know his or her interests matter to you.
Sleep on It
The initial confrontation is always the most bitter. When you are irate and angry and feel as though you may say something spiteful, always try to hold your tongue and remember that you will rarely feel as angry in a few hours time. If you really have to work to hold your tongue, then consider a night on the couch. You might not sleep as well, but chances are you will both feel like apologizing after you have slept on it.
It can be somewhat linked to respect, but making plans and decisions about things in your life together really lets your spouse know that you value his or her opinion. Waiting to see what the other contributes when you are working out the family finances or disciplining the kids, lets your other half know that you care about what he or she thinks.
It is commonly an issue for couples with children, but those with hectic schedules or busy careers can also struggle with this issue. Be sure to put real effort into making time for each other. You don’t need to make an excuse. Try not to make excuses, not even to yourself. When you really break it down, work is rarely so important that you can’t make some time for one another.
It sounds obvious, but just like other time-related aspects, sex can be something that does not get the attention devoted to it that is required. Sex is a perfectly healthy and normal human need, and if it stops happening, it can be the death of your marriage. If you really find you have little interest in sex, then consider seeking professional counseling to get to the bottom of things. Consider the following points:
Never leave your spouse guessing about why you aren’t interested in making love. The problem can become far worse inside his or her head than it actually is.
If you are concerned, then it never hurts to ask. Better to come right out and get to the heart of the issue than worry yourself sick over what the problem might be.
Try and think back to a time when your sex life was excellent, and ask yourself what it is that changed things. You can usually arrive at a root cause by figuring out when things turned sour.
If you take the time to really sit down and think long and hard about it, what makes a marriage work isn’t difficult to figure out. Ask yourself how it is that you would like to be treated yourself.
A marriage is like any other human relationship, where kindness, honesty, warmth, love, and compassion are generally reciprocated and make you both feel good. Negative traits, such as spite, selfishness, greed, and coldness, can leave you both feeling unloved and unimportant.
Try and remember the reason that you got married in the first place, and remember that deep down, you are both still the same people that fell in love and made the decision to get married and commit to each other for the long term.