loving him for ever

as she walked on the beach, her head bowed tears filled her eyes and her mind went back to the argument that took place that morning. ‘‘ i want a divorce” she has said.

married for 8 years, they had not always been this apart. she wiped out the tears blinding her as she their years of beginning flashed back to her memory.

kamsi was already a Doctor when they met at the teaching hospital Ibadan while she was still a student nurse struggling for a degree in midwifery. the attraction was so strong between them that they hit off with a blissful relationship before they knew it.

while she was reserved and doesn’t talk much, kamsi was just the opposite. he was full of life and always have something to say and of course he always say the right things, their relationship was full of activities and alive for there is always somewhere to go to, some things to say to each other and the just couldn’t get enough of each other.

so she was not surprised  when he proposed they take the relationship to another level( marriage) of course she had been waiting for him to say it. so she readily agreed and the next thing, they were coming out of the alter with wedding rings on their fingers.

the first two years of their marriage was heavenly, kamsi was so supportive of her getting her degree and he meant the whole world to her. it was as if they just found love anew and cant just let it go.

then they were blessed with a set of twin, she can not forget the joy she saw on the face or her husband when he came to see her and the babies at the hospital, he was grinning  from ear to ear telling any body that cares that he is a proud father of a set of twin. he doesn’t mind switching place with her in taking care of the twins at night, he equally feed them and bath them when she was tired.

then things changed. 6 months after the twins were delivered, kamsi started keeping to himself, comes home late play’s with d kids a little, takes his bath and eat when he feels like it and goes to bed, she was busy with her children and degree program to notice how much they were drifting apart.

after a long time living like house mates, kamsi came home early one Thursday and told her they need to go have dinner outside. she was shocked at first ‘‘i don’t remember the last time we went out together” she thought, she told him it was a good idea but it wasn’t a good day for, she said she is still working on her project and need to get through with it before the week runs down and besides, were will she keep the children while they are away. kamsi suggested they left the children with their pastor who’s house is not far from their’s, ‘‘ i can not leave my children with another person she said ” kamsi was so furious that he accused her of negligence, ‘‘ you have transfered the love you have for me to this kids and of course your degree program. i don’t get to see you around nowadays,you are here yet very far, you are like a ghost in this house, either  you are with the kids even when they are not disturbing or you are at the study consumed with your degree. what happens to me, i am also a human, your husband for crying out loud and i have needs. i wanted to get a help for you but you said no, you want to take care of your children yourself, cant you see….. we are apart, you sleep with the kids in their room because you don’t want them crying at night. what about me…?” she was at first shocked at his out burst, then angry at him ‘‘ oh…shut up kamsi what is wrong with you, i cant believe you are jealous of your own kids and my degree, you are so selfish. must every thing be about you? understand that i have these kids to take care of and my career to build. i don’t believe you are this impossible… ” before she could finish, he stormed out like a wounded lion.

few weeks later, precisely august, she decided both of them needed space to sort things out. so she planed a vacation with the kids in Dubai. kamsi was indifferent about it so she left for her vacation. their she concluded that their marriage is lost forever and can not be salvaged. she thought she new the man she got married to not knowing he such a selfish god knows what. and she can not put up with him any more knowing now that he is trying to stand on her way of getting the one thing that matters most to her which is her degree. she will file for divorce, yes that she will do.

her major challenge when she got home was how to break it to him, then the opportunity came two weeks after she came back, kamsi woke her up in the morning and told her that they needed to talk. before he could say word, ‘‘ i need a divorce” she said, holding her breath. ‘‘ what!” was his reply ‘‘why… why ? ” she couldn’t say another word. he gazed into her eyes for a while, ‘‘ cant you find even the least of love for me? am not asking for too much, a little of you love will help us start all over again”.  she still couldn’t say any other thing, after a while of waiting for her to say something and she didn’t, he left.

so here she is at the beach trying to clear her head. as she walked on, something caught her attention, she turned at the opposite side from were she stood. the picture of an old couple sitting together on a bench at the beach made her stop, they were knitting together drinking orange juice , talking and laughing. then it understood, children come and go, one can retire from work because of aging, and at that point in your life where those thing you lived for have slipped out of your grip, you are left with only that person that was with you not for what you achieved but for who you are, that person that have always dreamt of growing old with you.

i started coming back to her, kamsi may not actually be the problem, he may not actually be the selfish one but she is. she had wanted him to understand while she had failed in understanding him, he had always wanted to get her attention but she was too blind to notice.

she now knew that divorce wasn’t what she need but she want her man back. the old couple looked at her, smiled at her, showing some toothless gums and waved at her, she waved back. wiped her face with the back of her hand and headed back home. ‘‘ i am going to make him love me again she said”.


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