celebrating my father.

it was late in the night yesterday i got to remember i haven’t wish my father a ‘happy fathers day’. i was torn in between calling him this morning to wish him a happy fathers day and to ask him how he celebrated his fathers day (haven’t call him for a while now).

don’t blame me for the distance between my father and i, he has never really been the father he is supposed to be, has not been the best dad in the whole world and actually abandoned us when we needed him most cos he felt that the responsibility of taking care of us was too much a heavy load for him to bear so he walked away.

for years i resented him, i held him responsible for the hardship we saw and the shame we bore. but we survived!! yes we did, though through some part time jobs here and there but we pull through. guess what!! m..hm.. you guessed right, he came back, yes he did came back. we ( 5 girls) almost settled and have good things going on in our lives. some of my siblings felt what he did was unpardonable, i also would have shut him out of my life but i now know better. years of living without him has made me realize how much i ve missed having a father around me ( even if it means having the one that doesn’t that cant pay my bills) i realized ( agonizingly) that his absent actually was a motivational force that helped us look at life without fear and conquered because we never wanted to fell and justify daddy’s reason for leaving. and now he is back feeling sorry for what he did and also feeling proud of us. Mum was the first to forgive! ( acting as if he never left).

No matter what, i don’t want to loose him again, not in a thousand years ( did i say thousand?) so i picked up my phone and called him. and i also want to use this medium to say happy fathers day to the man that indirectly made me who i am today.

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